LOVE

Hi people!

I think this might be my last post for the year 2013 as I won't have WiFi in my long house( yes..i still live in long house,believe it or not)  during the semester break.. So, I think I wanna share something on my thought with you guys today. The topic is really close and personal to me especially I am still a young adult. Guess what?  LOVE..Haha..it may sound very cliché but well it's totally normal to have this feeling particularly during this age. But, I'm not going to tell you on how to find THE ONE (maybe  a bit), or how to attract a guy/girl or how to know when you have found your soulmate.. Instead, I'm gonna pour out my thoughts, beliefs and resolutions regarding my love for my forever one who loves me whole my life even during my darkest nights and ugliest days. He still wants my heart even though He owns the sky and the whole universe..His love is too deep to the extent where it couldn't be understood by human intelligence.. And falling into His arms is the most beautiful and comforting thing  I could ever do when this uncertain world fails or disappoints me.. And He is my Father, King, Number One Lover,  Best friend and my Saviour.

Many times I fail to love Him more than anything else. And it is a fool of me for not asking for His guidance, strength and wisdom during my troubled times. How ignorant I was to rely on myself and and ended up being heart-broken and full of despair. I looked elsewhere instead of focusing on Him. My intentions became wrong. I started to do things to impress people instead of for His glory. And the results were devastating, I started to lose myself and dwell in sadness and depression. I took a very long time to finally realise that my own and this world's ways bring me nowhere. I must change my condition. I know I have to come back to Jesus. I have to put my full trust in Him again and claim for my best life in Him. To think and believe that God prepares only the best for me make me to love Him even more. And I'm still learning to love Him for what He has done for me on the cross. He knows that it is impossible for me to live a guiltless life. Even though how hard I tried, I will never be as pure and holy like Him. Therefore, He gave His life for my redemption. It sounds so amazing and believe me I pray that He teaches me to make Him as my first love everyday. He is all I need.

I don't know.. I want Him to make me obsess over Him.

And now, let me tell you about the love for a man or a woman. I know I'm too young to speak about love and marriage. But hey, it's never too young to think of your future right. I was attracted with this quote saying "You attract who are, not who you want". We often say to ourself, "hey, I want a Godly guy who is very kind to everyone, selfless,protects me all the time and matured". But look at ourself first, are we good enough for our dream guy? Is he going to like me as what I am now? A lazybone, selfish, insecure and rude person? Do you want to have this kind of partner for your whole life? To be the father of mother of your children? I'm sorry if I sound too serious but as for me this is a serious matter. So my point here is that, construct yourself first before wanting to get involved in a special relationship. Ask God to develop you into a man or woman He wants you to be. Someone who loves God far more than  anyone or anything. And wait until the right time to come. For the time being, focus on loving God crazily first. Serving Him wholeheartedly and have faith in Him that He is grooming someone beautiful for us. Above all, seek God with all your heart and He will give you what you need.

To wrap this up, never get tired of finding God. Never stop loving and thinking of Him.Give your heart only for Him.

"I fell in love with you because you loved me when I couldn't love myself"

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TRUSTING IN THE UNSEEN

Hi there!
It has been a long time since I last posted here. I have undergone a phase of searching for something.. Asking myself what I should do and how I ought to think or feel.. Looking for that one fixed point on how I should live now. What are my priorities? What God wants me to do? I just figured out that sometimes I just have the wrong intention when doing something right. I am too swept away by this world and all its materials. I was too busy following the trend of this world until I forget my very first love, GOD. Until that moment when I was sitting for my IELTS exam ( International English Language Test System ). In the beginning it went well, however during Writing Test,only God knows how blank I was.I didn't even really fathom what I wrote that time to be honest. All I could do was to ask for wisdom from God and more words in order to exceed the minimum words requirement. And after that, I just left the rest to Him as He was my only hope.
   
     THE WAITING. I really hated this part as when I thought about the  result that I might get, it always spoil my mood while I was laughing hard at my friends' stupid jokes, enjoying some really good food or just pampering myself with relaxing music. Plus, I was heavily influenced by this saying that I learnt back in my secondary school, "Don't laugh too hard or else you will cry".lol. But who cares, enjoy the moment while you can.

    22 NOVEMBER 2013 (FRIDAY). This was the day that me and my friends have been waiting for. Was our preparations for 3 months worth it? Asking ourselves what our band would be.( the highest band is band 9,however for PETRONAS and MARA scholars we only need to get band 6.5 and above ). Getting band 6.5 would be a grace for me. I didn't want to resit the exam and pay RM 600+. I could spend the money doing things I like such as shopping, shopping and shopping. The waiting was indeed torturing. We were supposed to get our result by 10 am. So we went to the IDP office. Unfortunately, the officer said our results have been sent to Taylor's College. So we we went back to college again. And this was the worst part, our result was held by a teacher in the CPU( Canadian Pre-Uni) building which was once again outside of the college. And to add salt to the wound we needed to wait until 4.30 pm to get her. How pissed off I was that time. Accepting the fact, we continue with our lives ( sounds so deep). We had our Moral Studies exam and walked our way to the CPU building.

    WHAT'S YOUR NAME? the officer lady asked me before handing me my result. My heart didn't stop praying . As long as i get band 6.5 that would be more than enough. To my surprise, as I scanned through it, I got band 7.5!! PRAISE THE LORD!! I just shouted with joy along my friends. At last, i didn't have to pay RM 600+ to rest for it. Honestly, I am so grateful until now for this amazing blessing.

   Now, the reason why I share this story is not to boast as there's nothing to boast about. I just wanna remind you guys that no matter what life throws at you, have faith in the one who created the world in the first place. Why should you fear when you know that your life is in the care of the hand of the greatest? Be blessed and goodnite :)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." PROVERBS 3:5-6

my very first

Helloooooo

I'm Michelle!
Family and close friends call me Isew(pronounced as e-sayw)..i know it's hard to pronounce..
I'm 17 but will turn 18 this December if God's willing. A full time college student and Uni of Auckland hopeful and aiming to become an accountant-turned-billionaire in near future..(will tell you more about me in the next posts)
anyway,probably u are wondering what does it mean by 'leto kenyah'?
It means kenyah lady.. and now u might think to yourself again what the heck is 'kenyah'?
if you are not a Malaysian, I can forgive you. But if say that you are a Malaysian but don't have an idea what is Kenyah, please read more about Sarawak (which is my hometown) on the internet than wasting your time scrolling up and down your facebook page or stalking your crush online.(speak based on experience man! )
and here's the answer to those who are just lazy to look it up and to save your time:
Kenyah-a minority native in Sarawak (Orang Ulu tribe)
            - famous for their elongated ears and intricate tattoos on their legs and arms
            -lives in the mountainous part of Sarawak (Belaga and Baram)


Well, there are more actually..
So now.., why do I want to create a blog? I guess I am quite free now as the holidays is just around the corner and I realise that this can be a platform for me to ameliorate my writing skill(in this case, typing skill).. And I would like to share some interesting stuffs, words of wisdom that I acquire  from people that I look up to or just any random thoughts with you guys.
 So yea..I hope you enjoy reading it !

Wed 13/11/13
6:53 pm