To change or to remain?

Change. Most of the time it is uncomfortable and not easy. Due to the this, many people refuse to change and stick to their old, conventional ways. I believe these people love to dwell in their past glories as a way of hiding themselves from their present pain. Their lives are at a plateau. No more growth and their minds are still children-like. Well, it is really up to them. They have the freedom to choose whether to snuggle in their comfy blanket or start doing something. Start CHANGING.

As we live through different seasons of life, change is inevitable. It is something that we need to endure in order to grow up and be more fruitful in life.

To illustrate this, Bobby was the fastest runner in his high school. Then, he was selected to represent his school for a state-level running competition. Surely, he is going to compete against the cream of the cream and he cannot train like what he did previously in high school. He needs to gear up, spend more time at the running field, and have a stronger motivation to do his best. See, that is CHANGE. If he does not change, he will be beaten up by other competitors.

Change is a painful process, as you are doing something new and unfamiliar. But, when it becomes habitual, it will eventually be an easy task. My dad always said this to me, "When you are doing something challenging for many times, it is gonna be your second nature to do it at the end."

Many people become bitter rather than better, when they face problems*, as they refuse to change. Their level of maturity does not level up and growing up is something rare in their dictionaries. I hope we won't be these kind of people. Instead, we'll become more flexible, meaning able to change and adapt fast to the new circumstances and always innovate our ways of doing things. It can be changing our lifestyles like waking up earlier, exercising more, being more relational to people, or spending more time in sharpening your mind and skills.

So keep on doing what's right and really trust God. You may not have the feeling or motivation to do the right things, right now, but just act it out first and have faith that God will fill your heart with the spirits of diligence, patience, and endurance. And finally, God will put the love of doing the right things in your heart. FOCUS ON CHANGE AND YOU WILL GET THE RESULT.

*Inspired by the book "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. You should read this gem!

** Im writing this not because I have successfully changed for the better, but I am going through this process and I want to encourage you with these wisdoms too. Be blessed and may God change you.

Dear social media addicts (sometimes known as STALKERS)

2 Corinthians 3:16-18

"But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. For the Lord is the spirit, and wherever the spirit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM. So all of us who have had that veil removed can SEE and REFLECT the glory of the Lord. And the Lord, who is the spirit makes us more and more like Him as we are changed into His glorious image."

I got these impactful verses from a sermon video I watched online (I'll post the link below). It's like a slap on my face when I listened to it. Because all this while, I think most of us, including myself, have been trying hard to present ourselves as perfect figures who has it all, be it in social media or even real life. We work hard to impress others when they see our Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook profile. Wanting to be seen as pretty, rich, smart, or wise is our greatest desire.

Excessive focus is put onto the "perfect" lives of others. We are trapped in social comparison and it makes us feel bad of ourselves. I know what am I talking about because I've been through it. Even now, Im still struggling.

I feel like screaming to your face now if you are upset for not looking that pretty as the girl in the Instagram. I feel like scolding you now if you are contemplating on others glorious lives, and thinking hard before you tweet because you wanna be perceived as wise and you are longing for dozens of retweet.

But let me ask you a question.

 DON'T YOU FEEL TIRED??

You are not a model or celebrity.You are covering your face with a layer of airbrush perfection, until you can't even see the amazing and hopeful plans God has for you. You are too busy looking at other people's lives, what they are up to, but you fail to claim the glory God has for you today.

I feel like cursing now but you get me right?

Now get up from your bed, hide your phone or laptop from your sight, and do what you are supposed to do now. This is the day! This is the day that the Lord has made for YOU.God is eager to show you great things He has prepared for you. But He can only show it when you unveil yourself and unblock your sight from these false fantasies. See and show the real things. Do the real things. If now you are in the season of being a student, study well for God's glory. Do what you are supposed to do with excellence.

If you are struggling with addiction to social media and constant comparison, I tell you that you can only break free from it and claim VICTORY over it if you are really serious about it. Tell God desperately with all your heart that you wanna be released from this chain and I believe that He will renew your strength everyday.

What I did was, I fasted from social media for a few days (we tend to compare ourselves with others via social media), and fixed only 30 minutes everyday on it. It is a painful struggle but you will overcome it. There are days when Im unable to control myself, but it's okay. Always bear in mind that what you feed will grow, and what you starve will die. I have deleted my Instagram earlier this year, because I was addicted to stalking 'beautiful' people and you can do it too if you need to. Im not asking you to delete all of your social media accounts, but if you spend too much time on it and it impairs your daily functioning, emotions and spirit, then you know what you ought to do man.

Personally, I can say that I spend less time on Facebook now. When you no longer have the "need" to login to your Facebook, you will feel like a boss. Seriously,  because it no longer has power over you. And my next monster to be shut out is Youtube. Urghh, Youtube is very entertaining to watch btw..

So stalkers, if you wanna live a bigger life, now is the time to uncover your raw and uncut life. I urge you to compare less and contemplate more on God's glory. NOW is the glorious days for you. Stop slumbering in your sweet history and thinking "these good old days...". Today is your good new day! His spirit will fill us with fruitfulness and glory as it says, "And the Lord, who is the spirit makes us more and more like Him as we are changed into His glorious image."

I hope what I am trying to convey here not only touches your heart, but slaps you in the face like what I have experienced. You are meant for a glorious, victorious and fruitful life. Don't let the enemy rob and destroy you. But YOU, have power over them because the spirit of God is in you.




The Sermon

20 Facts About Me (p/s: some may be subjected to change)

I've been tagged by my friend Carven via Facebook and I'm gonna do mine here because Im afraid of judgement if I post it in FB (I think this thing is a bit poyo though hahah)  Since, Im soo "FREE" now and my trials is next week, here are my 20 facts.

 Obviously Im a very "diplomatic" person from this pic.

Im not a Malay, Chinese or mixed blood. Im a pure Kenyah, a minority tribe from East Malaysia,     particularly Sarawak. Don't worry, we are no longer headhunters.

I do still live in a longhouse in Belaga, and Im proud of it.

Im blessed with a wonderful family. (Inspiring dad, hardworking mum, loving siblings.) and also amazing friends who have been with me through thick and thin.

I have been 150 cm since Form 1 or 2, I guess. (No more hope in growing taller -.-)

I once wanted to be a military medical doctor, pharmacist, dentist, petroleum engineer, flight maintenance engineer etc. Just name it.

Im on a diet now but I always crash it. When I eat unhealthy food, I'll compensate it by going to the gym.

I like to sing and most people I met would remember me as a singer.

Im friendly to new people because I want to make them feel comfortable in new environment.

Treasure my culture very much because it is very rare nowadays.

I love sunflowers. VERY.

I have studied in 2 schools before I settled in SainsKu. SMK Belaga & Kolej TDTH Bujang Miri.


I LOVE playing sports, especially those sports where I can be rough. Basketball (the most favourite one), hockey, football (the most tiring because of the huge field), futsal, and netball (I always fantasise myself as a ballerina whenever I play netball, don't know why).

(probably the worst bruises I  got so far from playing futsal)


During my post SPM break, I opened my house to teach those primary school kids at my longhouse. Sort of tuition, and I really enjoyed teaching them because they were so enthusiastic in learning and even until now, whenever they see me at kampung during my hols, they will always ask me "When can we do tuition again?".. So sweet of them and I always hope that Im on a long break so that I can do this again. I admit that this experience inspire me to fight for quality education in rural area. (future activist maybe?)

(with my cute nieces during Christmas Eve 2013)


Im broke now and I'll be eating mixed rice at Pasar everyday hopefully.


Dream of being a vlogger. Just wait for it. heheh


Speaking about vlogging, my favourite youtubers are Jenn Im from Clothesencounters and Michelle Phan.

 Jenn Im.

Michelle Phan.

Somehow, I have this natural urge to act like a mak Datin whenever me and my friends enter a high end shop or when we try on shades.

Most of the stuffs I have now are my mother's previously. Eg: Phone, watch, Sling bag. They are very precious to me because they make me feel close to my mum. If possible, I don't wanna buy new ones.


Dream of being a founder of an elite boarding school in Sarawak.


I love anything that has banana and chocolate in it.

That's all! Do comment down below if we share the same facts. hehe Have a good day!

She's Still a Conquerer (Part 1)

She's looking at the sea now
Trying to fill in the emptiness
The emptiness once filled with treasures
Those treasures excited her loved ones
Proud were they of her

She always knew that those giant mountains were conquerable
Since young she's always a conquerer

But things changed as she aged
She realised
there were more conquerers in this world
Some were more dexterous in sailing
Some were as good as her
Well, just good...
nothing much...
 when compared to the greater conquerers

Now she thought she knew it
"Maybe I can't be the best sailor in this whole galaxy"
"But I can be the best for myself"
No pressure
Living comfortably in her own deck
Telling lies to herself that,
"You can't be the best every time"

But,
there's no interesting story  in her life
Life's  just a flat and smooth road for her
No struggles to overcome
No treasures won
Her muscles were weak
Her ship was wrecked
Hopeless was her world

She couldn't take it anymore
She couldn't live like this forever
No adventure, no discovery
Nothing gained...

All this time
She chose to be blinded from this truth
The truth was well-hidden in the basement of her ship
For letting it out means hurting herself
And she didn't want to be hurt.

But now,
She chooses to see it.